Funniest spot starts (or not) of 2009

I just picked a random year (2009) to look back at some funny FA pickups. It started as that, and then it turned into "why the hell did we pick these guys up?" and then I realized 99% of them were spot starts…but then it became a bit anti-climactic when I realized only about half the league spot started back then. Oh well, here is the list of the five funniest spot starts from every team in 2009 and how they fared in that start.

P.s. The managers are in the order of the drop down menu, not by funniest overall players.

Kurt (Please Longoria)

April 29- 11:32 pm- Mitchell Boggs (April 30- 6IP 6H 2BB 4ER 9K ND)

May 30- 2:51 am- Matt Palmer (May 30- 7IP 4H 0BB 0ER 5K ND)

June 2- 4:16 pm- Clayton Richard (June 3- 5.1IP 7H 4BB 5ER 4K L)

June 27- 2:43 pm- Brian Bannister (June 28- 6IP 7H 3BB 3ER 2K ND)

July 25- 4:48 pm- Sergio Mitre- (July 26- 5 IP 9H 0BB 4 ER 1K ND)

Adrian (Order of the Phoenix)

April 3- 12:03 am- Jesse Litsch (April 8- 6IP 7H 1BB 5 ER 5K L)

June 16- 6:58 pm- Aaron Cook (June 17- 7IP 8H 1BB 3 ER 3 K W)

September 4- 10:53 pm- Nelson Figueroa (September 5- 6IP 7H 2BB 4 ER 8K L)

September 6- 12:05 am- J.D. Martin (September 6- 6IP 6H 2BB 2ER 4K ND)

September 6- 12:13 am- Sergio Mitre (September 6- 4.1IP 11H 2 BB 11ER 5K L)

Colin (Flippy Floppies)

June 18- 2:08 pm- Joe Blanton (June 24- 7IP 6 H 2BB 2ER 10K L)

June 20- 3:32 pm- Brad Bergesen (June 26- 6IP 4H 2BB 1 ER 5K W)

July 31- 3:06 pm- Mark Rzepczynski (August 5- 6 IP 5H 1 BB 4 ER 7K L)

August 17- 4:44 pm- Dustin Nippert (August 21- 5 IP 7H 2BB 4ER 3K L)

August 28- 3:28 pm- Ross Ohlendorf (August 30- 6 IP 5H 2BB 4 ER 6K L)

James (Andy Ashby Wednesday)

April 28- 10:00 pm- Brian Tallet (April 29- 4 IP 11H 3BB 10 ER 2K L)

May 2- 10:37 pm- Chris Jakubauskas (May 3- 4.1 IP 6H 0BB 4ER 1K ND)

May 15- 1:28 am- Shairon Martis (May 19- 6IP 5 H 2BB 5 ER 2K ND)

July 25- 12:01 pm- Chris Volstad (July 26- 5.1 IP 8H 4BB 4ER 2K W)

September 3- 2:04 pm- Garrett Mock (September 4- 3 IP 7H 1BB 6 ER 3K L)

TJ (March of the Ents)

April 26- 1:57 am- Aaron Laffey (April 26- 6.1 IP 5H 4BB 2ER 1K W)

May 5- 12:08 am- Sean Marshall (May 5- 7IP 8H 1 BB 5 ER 1K L)

June 17- 11:17 am- Nick Blackburn (June 18- 9IP 6H 1BB 1 ER 2K W)

July 25- 5:42 pm- Chad Gaudin (July 26- 7IP 5H 2BB 1ER 4K ND)

May 3- 12:30 am/May 23- 8:50 pm- Dave Bush (May 3- 7IP 5H 0BB 3ER 7K ND, May 24- 6.2IP 5H 4BB 4ER 4K L)

Richie (Paging Dr. Pettyjohn)

April 1- 1:18 pm- Kelvim Escobar- only made 1 start all season (June 6- 5IP 4H 4BB 2ER 5K L)

June 16- 3:56 pm- Jason Marquis (June 18- 7IP 5H 3BB 2ER 10K L)

June 23- 4:03 pm- Fernando Nieve (June 24- 6IP 3H 4BB 0ER 5K W)

June 25- 1:33 pm- Gil Meche (June 26- 5IP 5H 3BB 4ER 3K L)

August 24- 6:24 pm- John Smoltz (August 28- 6IP 4H 1BB 1ER 6K ND)

Drew (kid jesus)

June 29- 2:45 pm- Scott Richmond (June 30- 7IP 6H 5BB 3ER 7K L)

July 7- 12:34 pm- Mike Hampton (July 11- 3.2IP 9H 1BB 5ER 1K L)

September 30- 10:04 pm- Kevin Millwood (October 1- 9IP 7H 1BB 2ER 10K W)

September 30- 10:08 pm- Ted Lilly (His last start of the season was earlier that day…hmm September 30- 7IP 5H 2BB 4ER 8K L)

October 2- 1:21 pm- Ryan Rowland-Smith (October 3- 6.2IP 6H 2BB 1ER 2BB W)

Jarrett (Staaf)

The only funny starter that Jarrett picked up that hasn't been named yet is Tommy Hanson. However, he did manage to pick up Jordan Zimmerman, Nelson Cruz and Andrew McCutchen that year.

Ben (The Muffin Men)

The only funny starters Ben picked up this year were Zach Duke and Joel Pineiro…way to go Ben!

Alex (Team Foxtopus)

May 13- 12:22 pm- John Maine (May 14- 6.2IP 7H 4BB 2ER 4K ND)

April 24- 12:58 am- Jarrod Washburn (April 26- 5.1IP 8H 3BB 6ER 0K L)

June 9- 12:10 pm- Dave Bush (June 10- 5IP 5H 4BB 3ER 7K L)

September 5- 9:54 pm- Tim Stauffer (September 6- 6.2IP 7H 1BB 1ER 3K W)

September 5- 9:58 pm- Braden Looper (September 6- 7IP 8H 2BB 1ER 1K ND)

What we learned:

- Doug Davis was the league cum dumpster. He was picked up on five separate occasions.

- Jarrett and Ben need to start predicting who will be funny in 5+ years and pick them up now so when we can look back and actually laugh.

- Drew won this year?

- Drew picked up three Asians by July 2 (Hong-Chih Kuo, Aki Iwamura, Shin-soo Choo) and none of them were spot starters.

- Our team names sucked back then.

- The first player picked up off FA was Mike Napoli (TJ) and the last player dropped was Chris Narveson (James).

- TJ owned Dave Bush twice in the same month.